Hey! Very briefly I’ll tell you how I stumbled upon conscious parenting. It was the summer of 2014 and I was about 8 months pregnant with my firstborn when I switched on the TV to land on Oprah Winfrey’s Super Soul Sunday. She was talking to a clinical psychologist & author, Dr Shefali. A couple of years later, after watching that show, and following her theories, reading her books, and most importantly ‘trying’ to practise those conscious parenting skills, I applied to become a Conscious Parenting Coach. I became the UKs first Conscious Parenting Coach in 2019 and as they say, the rest is history.

Conscious Parenting is best explained when compared with a traditional parenting model. For sake of argument, let’s say, traditional parenting is based around fear and control; rewards and punishments; past and future; hierarchy, with the parent being greater than the child. It focused around fixing our children as if they are broken or going to become so. On the other hand, Conscious Parenting is about connection and empowerment. There are natural consequences already at play so there is no need for arbitrary punishments. It is about present moment to moment parenting, more circular (less square), out of the box, and it is about allowing the child to raise us as parents. The elixir to conscious parenting is about fixing the parent and the parents’ past.

So, what is a Conscious Parent? Well, It is someone who is parent focused (not child focused), relationship and need focused (not behaviour) and connection focused. Being this way allows the parent to really go deep. Above all, doing this work on ourselves is, as Dr Shefali always says, the greatest gift we can give our children because we take ownership for who we are. We are accountable for what we do and what comes out of our mouths, stares, body language and the energy we bring to our children. It allows us to change our style to provide what our child needs (and deserves). What is great about Conscious Parenting, is we begin to realise how important self-care is through this process. We heal past wounds so that we don’t pass them on. Essentially, we enter the present moment, which is frankly all we ever have, and by doing so we change patterns – even those that are generational. Phew! That’s monumental.

But – I hear you say, my child is so @*!>?@!. So, in terms of the issues we have with our children – what are they? What are the problems? I can already hear the barrage of complaints about our children. Now these struggles, are universal. Every parent will attest to one or more issues in sleep, screen time, disrespect, responsibility, innate drive etc. Do we as the parent make it better or worse though? What do you do in the face of disrespect? More often than not, we make it worse. Go on, carry on reading…

And we make it worse because deep down we feel empty. We take it personally. We say nonsense because we are out of control. We threaten, we scream, judge, compare. In the end no one feels good. We yell, we shame. We add fuel to the fire. Gosh, and we are the parent!

I dare you – for one day only, allow your child to raise you. When they do something triggering; they don’t eat the breakfast you’ve made. When they stamp their feet in the wine aisle, just breathe and ask yourself this one question: What are you teaching me, in this very moment, about myself?